Why Your Thoughts Feel So Real When You’re Anxious (Story Follows State Explained)
In this article
What “story follows state” means
Why your thoughts feel so real when you’re anxious
The 3 main nervous system states (polyvagal theory)
Real-life examples of how your state shapes your perception
Simple ways to regulate your nervous system before reacting
A slightly ridiculous example (that explains everything)
This is a slightly ridiculous example, but it explains it perfectly…
Years ago, I started dating a great guy.
But I was anxious and scared to get hurt.
So my brain did what anxious brains do best… it started looking for problems.
And I landed on one.
A good one… you ready?
I convinced myself he had a weird-looking toe.
I actually had the impulse to end things over it.
Thankfully, I had just enough awareness to pause and not act on it. I focused on settling my nervous system instead.
A few months later, we were sitting on the couch, bare feet up, completely relaxed…
And I remember looking over and thinking… he actually has great feet.
Same person. Same feet.
Completely different nervous system state.
Completely different story.
This is a simple example of how your nervous system state can shape your thoughts, especially when you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed.
Why everything can suddenly feel wrong
Have you ever had one of those days where everything feels like it’s going wrong?
Nothing seems right and it’s all you can think about?
Maybe nothing big happened, but all of a sudden you’re questioning your job, your friends, where you live, your relationship… everything.
Your brain starts spinning, trying to figure it all out.
But when one problem settles, another one pops up.
You might be thinking… what is going on?
Because nothing actually changed.
But your state did.
What does “story follows state” mean?
Thoughts can feel real. Convincing. Urgent.
But they don’t always come from clarity.
They come from your nervous system state.
Your state heavily influences your thoughts, your perception, and how you interpret what’s happening around you.
Which means…
The story you’re telling yourself often follows your Nervous system state.
Understanding nervous system states (polyvagal theory)
In somatic work and polyvagal theory, we often talk about three main states:
Ventral (regulated / safe and social)
Calm, curious, connected, open
Thoughts: “I have time. I can figure this out.”
Sympathetic (fight or flight)
Tense, anxious, urgent, mind racing, irritable
Thoughts: “Something’s wrong. I need to deal with this now.”
Dorsal Vagal (Shutdown or immobilized)
Heavy, foggy, disconnected, fatigued, checked out
Thoughts: “What’s the point? This feels like too much.”
Take a moment and notice where you might be right now.
A quick way to shift your state (somatic practice)
If you want to bring in a bit more regulation, try this:
Think of a time you felt good.
Maybe you accomplished something, were with someone you care about, or were in a place you love.
Notice what you saw.
What your body felt like.
What you heard.
Spend 10–20 seconds really taking it in and savour it.
Then notice how your body feels now.
How your nervous system changes your story (real-life examples)
Here’s how the same situation can feel completely different depending on your state:
Checking your bank account
Sympathetic: “I’m behind, I need to fix everything right now”
Shutdown: “I can’t deal with this”
Ventral: “Okay, let’s look at what’s actually here”
Work task
Sympathetic: “This is too much, I’m going to mess it up”
Shutdown: “I can’t start”
Ventral: “Let me start with one step”
Social event
Sympathetic: “Everyone is judging me”
Shutdown: “I don’t belong here”
Ventral: “I can find one person to connect with”
Going on a date
Sympathetic: “This isn’t right, I need to cancel”
Shutdown: “Why do I even bother”
Ventral: “I’m curious, let’s see how this feels”
Your thoughts aren’t always reliable
Sympathetic and shutdown states are not bad.
They are protective.
But the thoughts that come with those states are not always reliable.
And they are not permanent.
It’s like when everything feels overwhelming at night…
and in the morning, it doesn’t feel quite as intense.
What changed?
Your nervous system state.
Why it’s important to recognize your state
If you don’t recognize your state…
you’ll believe every story your brain offers you.
And those stories can lead to decisions, conversations, and reactions
that don’t actually reflect how you feel when you’re more regulated.
What to do instead (simple nervous system regulation tools)
Before you send the text
before you make the decision
before you spiral deeper into the story…
pause.
Check in with your body:
Buzzing?
Tension?
Numbness?
Fatigue?
Then support your system:
Press your feet firmly into the ground
Slow your exhale
Look around your space
Wrap yourself in a self hug and feel the pressure
Then check again.
Does anything feel even 2% different?
Because wisdom and clarity don’t come from urgency.
they come from regulation.
Small shifts change your nervous system over time
So when urgency hits, or something feels impossible…
pause.
Check in with your body.
Notice the story.
See if you can give your system even a small experience of safety.
Even that counts.
Because these moments build on each other…
and slowly reshape your nervous system over time.
If you’re looking for a guided place to start, you can explore the practices I’ve shared or my Free 7 Day Somatics Course.
And if you want support with recognizing your patterns and working with your nervous system, you’re always welcome to book a free consult or just reach out.
FAQ: Story follows state & nervous system regulation
What does “story follows state” mean?
It means your thoughts and interpretations are shaped by your nervous system state. When you’re anxious or shut down, your brain creates stories that match that state.
Why do I overthink everything when I’m anxious?
In a sympathetic (fight or flight) state, your brain is scanning for problems to solve. This can create constant overthinking and a sense that something is wrong.
What is nervous system regulation?
Nervous system regulation involves using body-based (somatic) tools to help your system feel safer, calmer, and more balanced.
How do I know what state I’m in?
Look at both your body and your thoughts.
Tension, anxiety, irritability, and/or urgency often point to sympathetic.
Heaviness, foggy thinking, and/or numbness point to shutdown.
Calm, curiousity, confidence, and openness suggest a regulated ventral vagal state.
Can I change my nervous system state quickly?
You can shift it gently. Even small practices like slowing your breath, orienting to your surroundings, or feeling your body can help move you toward more regulation.
