I Tried Everything to Heal My Trauma. Here's What Actually Helped.
I Became Obsessed with Healing
A few years ago, I became completely obsessed with healing.
At the time, I had a great therapist who really got me, and I'm so grateful for the work we did together. But every session brought so much to the surface that I'd leave feeling completely overwhelmed. My quality of life was actually getting worse because everything was coming up faster than I had the capacity to work with.
I was desperate to feel better.
So, like many people, I started searching for the thing that would finally be the answer.
My "Maybe This Is It" Era
I tried some very intense breathwork. (OMG. Terrible idea for highly sensitive, old me.)
I tried all kinds of supplements. Melatonin, l-theanine, magnesium, sleeping pills, adrenal supplements, annnnnd a bunch of other ones. Spoiler alert, didn’t really help for more than a few days.
I tried psychedelics. Did I have some really enlightening experiences and big insights? Yep. Did I actually feel better in my day-to-day life? Nope.
I tried TRE (Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises). It gave me temporary relief from some really intense feelings, but they came roaring back just as strongly and still overwhelmed me.
I worked through anxiety workbooks, PTSD workbooks, and self-compassion workbooks. The self-compassion work was one of the few things that genuinely stayed with me, and it's something I still weave into my work with clients today.
I was even prescribed ketamine.
It helped a bit, but it wasn't the golden ticket I had hoped for, and for me, the side effects just weren't worth it.
I also took some...
...let's call them interesting workshops.
Neo tantra. OMG, Never again. (That one was hard to admit and share.) These workshops are NOT trauma-informed.
Now, to be fair, some of these approaches absolutely help people. But if you're anything like me, every new thing felt shiny and full of promise and oh so dramatic. I kept hoping, Maybe this is the thing that's finally going to make me feel better.
The problem wasn't necessarily the approaches.
It was that I was looking for a magic key, a quick fix, the thing that finally heeeeeeeaaaals me and makes life magical again so all my problems and challenges go away.
How Somatic Experiencing Changed Everything
One day a friend said, "You should go see this woman who does Somatic Experiencing."
I remember thinking, "What IS somatic?"
She couldn't really explain it. She just kept saying, "I felt better than I ever have from therapy."
So, I booked an appointment.
And...
It actually started helping.
The Biggest Mistake I Made
The funny thing is, I still approached somatic work exactly the same way I had approached everything else.
"Okay... how do I get rid of this terrible feeling in my body?"
That was my goal.
Get rid of it. Get it out.
Regulate it. Release it.
Make it GO. AWAY.
What I slowly learned was that I didn't actually need to become better at getting rid of my feelings. I needed to becoming truly comfortable with them.
That doesn't mean “sitting in it” forever or forcing yourself to relive difficult experiences. (Has anyone ever asked you to write down your 10 most painful experiences? Did it help? No? Not surprised.)
For me, it meant gently touching into those sensations little by little, in manageable pieces, while also noticing what felt steady, supportive or okay.
That, for me, slow and little bits became the magic. But the grounded and earned magic, ya know?
Here is the weird part
What surprised me most was that the changes didn't feel dramatic and overwhelmingly emotional.
After things like intense breathwork, I'd had these huge emotional releases.
Somatic work felt...
Simple? Sorta like stillness?
Honestly, I remember wondering,
"Is this really doing anything?" because I am not crying on the floor trying to catch my breath and “releasing” everything.
But then life started to SHIFT.
Work stopped feeling so overwhelming.
I actually became excited to go to work again.
If someone gave me a bit of a side-eye because I was being myself, I didn't spend hours wondering if they thought I was weird.
I stopped overexplaining myself and back-pedaling.
I could go into loud and people-y environments without feeling completely overwhelmed by the noise.
I started enjoying dating again.
I had energy to spend time with friends.
Ummm, I started SLEEPING!!! again after years and years of insomnia.
Eventually, my therapist looked at me and said,
"Wow... what have you been doing?"
For the first time in years, the scale was finally tipping in the other direction.
Am I Still Sensitive?
Oh, helllllllllllllllllll yes.
I'm still sensitive. I still notice things other people don't. I still pick up on people's moods. I still need downtime.
The difference is that they don't overwhelm me anymore.
They don’t stop me from living a full life.
My body and brain respond differently now.
And that feels like a completely different way to live.
And I actually celebrate my sensitivity now. I learned fast in my training that it makes me an awesome practitioner, I feel and sense what a sensitive person needs a bit easier than someone who has never been there.
It's that cheesy thing that happens when your biggest weakness really does become one of your greatest strengths. It really does happen.
A Small Practice You Can Try
If you'd like to experience a tiny taste of this work, here's a gentle exercise you can try.
1. Get comfortable.
Find a position that feels supportive enough for you right now.
2. Feel what is holding you.
Gently press your body into the chair, floor, bed or whatever is supporting you. Notice the pressure and texture beneath you. Then let yourself soften a little.
3. Notice a place that feels easier.
Bring your attention to an area of your body that feels even slightly lighter, softer, warmer or more neutral.
4. Stay there for a few moments.
Notice what is there without trying to make anything happen. If an image naturally comes to mind, simply notice it.
5. Shift toward a place that feels tense or braced.
Gently bring your attention to an area of tension.
6. Get curious about the tension.
Where are its edges? If it had a colour or image, what might it be? Does it feel like it wants to move, or stay still?
7. Move slowly between the two places.
Without trying to change anything, gently shift your attention back and forth between the area that feels easier and the area that feels tense. Continue for up to five minutes, or stop sooner if that feels better.
8. Orient back to the room.
Look around and notice where you are. Press into your support again.
9. Do something pleasant or ordinary.
Make a cup of tea, step outside, call a friend or do something you enjoy. Let your nervous system know the practice is finished.
Looking Back
Looking back, I don't regret trying all those things. It made for a few good stories and mayyyybe they taught me something.
Some of them helped a little.
Some of them definitely weren't for me.
But the biggest shift wasn't finding the perfect healing modality.
It was learning that I didn't have to keep chasing huge breakthroughs.
Instead, I needed hundreds of small moments where my nervous system experienced something different. Those little moments add up.
Somatic Experiencing did just that for me.
One day, I realized I was enjoying work again.
I could sit through a meeting without feeling trapped while I was so tense I could crush a watermelon between my legs.
I answered texts and emails without rewriting them six times.
I wasn't constantly worrying about how everyone perceived me.
I could tell my boss I didn't have the capacity for that extra task at 3:30 on a Friday. I’d be able to finish it Tuesday instead.
I could go home, make the recipe I'd been wanting to try, watch my favourite show, call a friend and just... feel like myself.
That, for me, is what this work has been about.
Not becoming a different person.
Not becoming less sensitive.
But becoming someone whose sensitivity no longer runs the whole show.
If this is the kind of change you're hoping for, I'd love to support you.
You can book a free consultation, and we'll talk about what's been feeling hard, what you're hoping for, and what can help move the needle to where you want to be.
